Computer Virus Wreaks Havoc in Central Florida

Nasty Computer Virus Threatens Florida

The experts are calling it one of the nastiest computer viruses to date. Florida State Officials say up to 69% of all computers in Central Florida are indeed infected.

The original virus was tracked to a small trailer park in Lakeland Florida, but no arrests have been made. If you have any information please notify the Polk County Sheriffs Department immediately. Public awareness of this virus is important, and if we all act swiftly there is the possibility of containing the virus.

If you noticed any of these signs then you must act soon:

• The infection comes from an email from a friend.
• It will erase everything on your computer and any memory sticks or other types of storage media within 20 feet of the infected computer.
• It will demagnetize the stripes on all of your credit and debit cards and change your pin number.
• It will re-calibrate your refrigerator making all of your ice cream melt and your milk curdle (at the same time).
• It will program all speed-dials on your cell phone to call 900 Sex Lines.
• It will drink all of your beer
• It will leave dirty socks on your coffee table when you’re expecting company.
• It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.
• It will cause you to do unusual things like running with scissors and throwing things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
• It will rewrite your back-up files, changing all of your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretation of key sentences.
• Windows Vista Users: It will leave your toilet seat up and your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
• It will not only remove forbidden tags from your mattresses, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
• It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.

This was an oldie but goodie that was floating around back in the 90’s. I haven’t seen it in years until the other day. Kudos to whoever wrote it!